The confession
by The Big Girl
I've been fighting the never-ending battle with my weight since I was in the single digits. Due to health problems as a kid, I was always on such a restrictive diet, taking something out here, adding something there and having none of something elsewhere.
When my medical issues were over, the weight was still a problem, due to the medication I was on. But for the most part then, it was just telling a small girl, who didn't know really what was going on that she couldn't have something to eat, when her little body was telling her she wanted it. There were many, many tears and fights before those years ended.
Now with all the medical issues behind me for a good 20+ years, I'm still left dealing with a weight problem that just won't go away and just won't fucking end. And before we go any further, I curse like a sailor and I won't apologize for it. Don't like it? Don't read. And that's the last I'll have to say about that.
Anyway...I'm still dealing with the weight problem. I have a personal goal I've had for myself since I was a teenager, and have gotten SO close to it a few times! However, today I am probably the furthest I've been and it's become a bit of an obsession for me, to get back down to where I want to be, and I feel like the clock is ticking here!
I know there are health problems I've been lucky enough to avoid so far, and I know there are risks I haven't had to cross yet-and I'm lucky! But I know my luck will run out one day and I'll be shit out of luck! So, here it is....a written down accountability blog for myself..and if others read it and find inspiration, great! If not, then it's really just for me to document the journey.
With tomorrow being Monday, I'm going to start the journey tomorrow...and we'll see how far I go. I'm hoping this is the FINAL time that I have to walk down this road..and I hope that when I get to the end of the road, that the work was worth it and that I truely get what I want out of this.
Until next time....
